Sunshine

Dear Sophie,

You are my sunshine, and I love you always.  The past week, however, was not sunshiny. Last Monday, you began the week with a fever, a barking cough, and a runny nose - what I thought was just a bad cold!  Tuesday morning, your daddy left for an out of town work assignment in Puerto Rico.  The duty to stay home with you fell squarely on me, and at first I welcomed the idea of nursing my baby girl back to health.

We stayed home Tuesday and then Wednesday.  Your temperature had topped at 102.9 on Tuesday before declining on Wednesday.  In the night, you would wake up crying for something: daddy, pretzels, crackers, Amy (the administrator at your school).  Many times you would yell "mommy hold you (me)!" even though I was already holding you.  I suspected you may have been delirious.  During the day, your coughing hurt your throat, leading you to cry, "Owweee, owweee, owweee!" and no amount of blowing or using saline and a suction bulb seemed to give your nose relief.  In your misery, you wanted constant comfort and "holding".  You cried frequently and for long periods, all while being held. If I put you down or divided my attention for a few minutes, you would wail your insistence that I return.  We watched Disney's Rapunzel over and over again, as it was the only thing that would quiet you (however fleetingly).  You had no desire to eat, unless it was applesauce, jello, a cutie or pretzels, so that was what I gave you. Fortunately, your thirst stayed in tact, and you drank water and juice almost nonstop.  Otherwise, there was little I could do to ease your suffering, and in turn, I too grew weary and drained.

Later in the day on Wednesday, though, you seemed to be on an upward trend, and by Thursday morning, your temp had fallen below 100.  I thought it was safe to take you to school.  I put in about 6 hours at the office when I got the call from your school to pick you up.  Your temp had gone back up to 101.  Your teachers told me they knew you weren't yourself when one of your little friends tried to mess with you and you didn't respond.  After picking you up, we went immediately to the pediatrician's office, where a test of some mucus from your nose revealed you had influenza A.  I had no idea!  Not only did I feel tremendously bad for you, I felt guilty for taking you to school and my going to the office.  All I could think about was how I'd put others at risk - your teachers and little schoolmates and my own officemates.

Thursday evening at home with me, you continued to express your misery, and I could now more clearly see the puffy and red bags under your eyes that the pediatrician noticed right away and said was a big giveaway.  She said the flu symptoms can last 10 to 15 days!  Next year, daddy and I will not wait until your annual birthday checkup to get you a flu shot!

On Friday morning, it appeared your fever had dissipated again.  We stayed home this time so that I could be sure you were truly on the mend (and the school wouldn't have let you return for 24 hours anyway).  Fortunately, the outdoor temp had risen to the 50s for the weekend, so we went outside  in the sunshine and took Lucy for a walk on Saturday and took an outing to Target and Trader Joes on Sunday.  Sunday evening, our thoughtful friends the Buntings invited us to dinner, and we took them up on it.  Although the fever never returned all through the weekend, you still had fitful nights and clingy, needy days.  Both of us were exhausted.

You went back to school today, and lasted the whole day.  Your teachers said you seemed to be back to your old self.  But as soon as I got you in the car, you began to cry for me to hold you.  You cried all the way to the grocery store.  You cried all the way through the grocery store and required that I hold you the whole time.  I got many sympathetic looks and reassuring, positive comments from some very kind patrons and store staff.  You continued to cry as we left the store, with me awkwardly carrying you and two grocery bags.

Bear with me on this side story, the telling of which will allow me to vent.  As we approached the car, I had to put the groceries down, and then proceed with putting you in your car seat - not a quick process.  A man parked next to us had arrived with his groceries, and had gotten his groceries put away in his SUV before I could finish buckling your belt and stash our groceries.  From inside his car and in an apparent hurry to leave, he yelled at me, "Could you shut your door?!?!"  At just that moment, I had shut the rear door and was just getting into the driver's seat.  On the way home from the store, I was nearly in tears.  I tried to remind myself to think about the multiple kind people inside the store and not the ill-tempered one outside the store.

Back to your crying....  You cried all the way home from the store, all the way through dinner prep and consumption (you refused to eat), all the way through your bath, and and all through dressing for bedtime.  Having picked up a new movie, Spy Kids (for $5 at Target) (to give you a tempting alternative to Rapunzel), I put in the DVD and got it rolling.  You cried well into the opening scene and finally quieted (but still wanted me to hold you).

My dear little one, you are sleeping now as I write this.  I sure hope tomorrow is better for you.  Perhaps if you can get a restful night, you'll be less crabby tomorrow.  Here comes the sun!

Love you,
Mommy

Pee Pee in the Potty

Dear Sophie,

For a couple of weeks now, we had randomly placed you on your "throne" hoping that you would relieve yourself by chance.  Your potty is literally shaped like a princess' throne, and it even plays celebratory music when the bowl gets wet.  From the first time we ever put you on the potty, you seemed to know exactly what to do, even pretending to "push" something out.  After several tries, though, you had not yet made your potty sing.  We didn't make a big deal out of it though.  We gave you M&M's just for sitting on the potty and praised you for trying.

Today, for the first time at 22 months and 10 days old, you successfully peed in the potty.  Right before being put to bed, I noticed that you had nearly finished your second sippy cup of water that I had just given you.  I thought, she's got to have a full bladder....I wonder if she would go potty now.  I brought you into the bathroom with me and placed you on the seat.  "Go pee pee," I instructed you, just like every other time before.  You "pushed" and suddenly your throne erupted in happy tunes!  You stood up, and both of us peered into the bowl.  Seeing true success, I clapped and cheered, told you good job, and gave you a high five.  Daddy joined us in the celebration too.

What a proud moment!

You are growing up so fast.

Love you, Little Buddy!

Mommy

For the Birds!

Dear Sophie,

You had a couple a funny moments recently that I wanted to remember.

We were standing outside on an unusually warm, 80 degree evening in October.  You love walking through the crunchy leaves and picking up the little red berries that have been falling off the prairie fire crab apple tree in the backyard.  Because I wanted you to understand that you shouldn't eat the berries, we sat down on the back steps and I explained that the berries were food for the birds.  It just so happened that a large flock of birds was flying noisily over head at that moment.  Fully comprehending the food lesson and then dramatically gasping at nature's impeccable timing, you held up a fistful of berries up to the sky and shouted, "Heeh, beehds!  Eat, beehds!" (translated, "Here, Birds!  Eat, Birds!).  How I love that you make a seemingly uninteresting moment such an exciting one!

This next story embarrasses me, but your cuteness overrides my shame.  You were sitting quietly, coloring and playing with stickers.  I was sitting across from you, watching you color and occasionally helping to remove a sticker from its backing.  Digestion of a taco salad made itself evident when I let slip a hard-to-ignore "toot."  In great sincerity, you looked up at me with raised brows and asked, "Poop, mommy?"  I suppose I'm fair game to be asked that question, since we ask you the same question seemingly every day.  Soon, I'll be teaching you that a "toot" may be a signal that it's time to go to the potty.

I love you, Funny Face!

Mommy

Miss Bossy?

Dear Sophie,

We went to McDonalds for dinner tonight.  You don't really care about the food, but you like to watch the kids playing on the gymnasium and the slides.  You don't yet participate in the playing yourself because I suspect that you may be intimidated by all the other kids - they are much bigger than you.   As we were eating our dinner and people watching, two little girls (about nine years old) came over to our table.  Fully engrossed in play time, they hopped up on the chair and then stepped up onto our table so that they could reach up and jump onto one of the bars of the gymnasium. In a bossy little voice, you said to those girls, "Off table! Get down!"  You repeated it a second time when the little girls did it again.  Eventually, an adult from their party came over and told the girls not to get on the table.

I wonder where you learned to be so bossy? *wink wink*  This was the first time I've seen you be bossy to anyone else besides Lucy, Blue, and Junior.

Love you,
Mommy

FaceTime

Dear Sophie,

Thank goodness for FaceTime - this nifty Applie iPhone application that allows me to "video call" you.  I can see your cute little face even though I am far away in Washington D.C. at a conference.  And you can see my face too.  "Hi, Mommy!" is such a nice greeting.  You can hear me and interact with me on FaceTime.  You even mimicked me sticking my tongue out.  And when I asked for a "high five," you did it - unfortunately, your high five disconnected our call, but we got right back online together with a touch of a button.

What a darling little girl you are!

I'm so glad this is only a 3 day trip.  I miss your face!  I miss Daddy too, but his face is not nearly as sweet as yours. Wink wink!

Love,
Mommy

First K-State Game

P.S.

Daddy and I took you to the K-State vs. KU game in Manhattan yesterday.  It was your first college football game.  KU lost to K-State with a horrendous score of 56 to 16!

Oh sh*t!

Dear Sophie,

Who would have ever guessed that you would learn your first naughty word from Mommy?  I've been lecturing your dad for two years that he should start modifying his language in preparation for little ears.  As it turns out, it was I who needed the lecturing.

Here's how it happened.  Daddy was out of town.  It was just you and me, which means that Mommy was probably on the "worn out" side.  I placed you on the changing table so that I could give you a fresh diaper.  You were being your usual squirmy self - anything left on the dresser is vulnerable to being kicked or knocked off.  This isn't usually a problem, because most of the time, what's on your dresser is plush or plastic (like your animals or your comb).  This time, though, it was a sizeable bottle of lotion.

With a wave of your arm, the lotion container went crashing to the flower ending with a big splat!  Lotion was everywhere!  "Oh shit," I said.  "It's broken."  Not dwelling on the mishap (yours or mine), I finished changing your diaper, and then proceeded with the cleanup.  We went on with the day.

Later that day, it was time for another diaper change.  I took you back to your room and placed you on the dresser.  You noticed the broken lotion bottle still on the dresser, and then turned to me and said with all innocence, "Shit.  Boken."  I asked you, uncertain I heard you correctly, "What did you say?"  You repeated, "Shit. Boken."

And if that wasn't confirmation enough for me, two days later, when I was changing your clothes, you said it again after accidentally dropping your shoes on to the floor:  "Oh shit."

I can hardly believe that it was me who taught you a bad word.  Of course you don't know that it's a bad word, but everyone else will know, when your repeat it in public, that someone taught you a bad word.  Everyone will suspect your Daddy, but he will be free of blame and point his finger squarely at me.

Love you!
Your Imperfect but Loving Mommy